Neanderthal Denisovan larger brain
Neanderthal Denisovan larger brain
Embedded Files
DENISOVAN - 2.6% & NEANDERTHAL - 2.4% (National Geographic) = 5% This means I am a hybrid with approx. 50% Neanderthal and 50% Denisovan of the 5%. Going back in time, this would mean before Homo sapiens, this 5% would be 100% and I could have existed in this form for 100,000 years.
The hands show a larger than normal head of ulna. It's function is to rotate the hand. Does this enlarged ulna appear in Neanderthal skeletons? If not, I would say it comes from the Denisovans. It would increase dexterity along with an increased strength in the forearm, which could assist with boat building or art work. And on the aquatic side, it could result in a more powerful swimmer, especially as recent research suggests that Neanderthal had an increased lung capacity.
MY DENISOVAN - NEANDERTHAL DNA AT THIS STAGE I REALISED MY DNA BUILT SOLARWINDS
Above image is a replica of Homo Neanderthal (female) - Forbes quarry skull (Gibraltar) with a cranial capacity of 1286 cc and a width of 14.6 cm (5.75 inches). The male's cranial capacity is 200cc larger which means that the male is 1486cc. Modern Homo Sapiens has an average of 1345cc.
I have a cranial capacity of approx. 1660cc- 12% greater than average Neanderthal male and 22% greater than average Homo Sapiens male. Width of my skull is 15.6 cm (6.14 inch). (image- age 40).
AGE 70 21-6-2016 HAND SIZE
AGE 30 1976 AN OASIS ON THE EDGE OF THE SAHARA DESERT
AGE 70 21-6-2016
AGE 63 2009 WINTER IN THE UK
Father
Mother
A PASTEL DRAWING OF MYSELF AGED 48 BY JULIE ( 2-10-1994)
WIFE
28-1-2015 AGE 68 The older l get the more l see my past and future clearly. I was recently told by a optician I have OVAL-EYES also colour blind on RED - GREEN.
The hand above show a larger than normal head of ulna, It´s function is to rotate the hand. It´s size must indicate a more powerful forearm. It´s use is unknown. I have several theories.
Painting of myself aged 40 in 1986 (by my daughter, Ann). As this image would suggest I am looking for the meaning of life. I feel a bit of an alien. With my cycle across America and Australia, I felt I had more in common with the native American and Australian. And recent DNA tests verify this. My feelings with my respect to my genetics is that - I AM MORE DEAD THAN ALIVE.
Pencil drawing of myself age 41 in 1987 (by my daughter, Julie)
FAMILY TREE PAINTED BY MY DAUGHTER, JULIE 1989
The badge was given for recognition of athletics ability rather than the standard school badge. I also represented the school in the summer track and field events. Clowne County Secondary School cross-country team became N.E. Derbyshire Area Cross-Country Champions (approx. 1960). They came first (with 57 points) in a field of eight schools. The run by the school team included myself - D. Smith (8). I was chosen for the team to represent the N.E. Derbyshire area.
Having just returned from Australia (24/11/2011). The boxes contain the bikes we used to cycle across Australia. I started off at 13 stone 7 lbs (85.7 kg). By the time I reached Bondi Beach, I was 70 kg (11 stone). If you look at my knees and feet, my feet are longer than normal and more of a Neanderthal structure. I was determined to get back to the physique I had, which I have since done. My waist measurement never changed due to the size of my pelvis.
My hands are larger than normal for my age as they are today.
Aged 65 at Bondi Beach, Australia (13/11/2011)
My mother (aged 39) and I (aged 7) at Scarborough (1953). My mother had pale skin, but after just a few hours of sun exposure, her skin (as seen in photo) has turned dark.
A letter I wrote to my mother the day before her funeral (13/7/1992):
Dear Mum,
This will be my last written letter to you as you can imagine you are a great loss and the postman will never deliver one of yours to me.It was hard when Father died not receiving these letters, but you took over the task and gave me an extra 17 years, which I have very much appreciated.
You had to be my Mother and Father, not just to me, but to Florence and grandmother to our children - not forgetting great-grandchild. Something you devoted yourself to.
The impression you have left with us all, is someone of great courage and devotion to family, along with a deep sense of loss and emptiness.
I hoped this day would never come and I will never be the same again. I will still smile and laugh, but I will shed a tear in my quiet moment, till the day I die.
Time takes away the surface pain, but there will always be a deep pain, which I will get from time to time.
By you dying, it will make my dying easier as I am very much hoping I will be reunited with you and Father, and if I could have one wish now or in the future, that is my wish.
When you are laid to rest tomorrow my eyes will be full of tears, but I will have one sense of warmth. I may have lost you, but Father has gained you. This does help me.
As said in a hymn - "You fought a good fight" and deserve rest. I will be looking for you in my dreams, in the fields, lanes, the sea and in my quiet moments. A sense of your presence is all I want. I know gone are the days when I can kiss you on the forehead before going to bed.
But like when you lost your parents many years ago, my time will come when I depart this world and I will spend eternity in search of you and Father. Without this to look forward to at this moment, life seems pointless.
It is not said at this moment of grief and forgot about with the passing of time. I am like you - some things do not change with time.
I feel I achieved quite a high standard in life, not in the way of my position in society or financial gain, but from a gift that you and Father gave me of life, from the qualities you both had. If you strip a man bear of everything and isolate him, so he just has himself, the majority are broken.
You can do the same to me and I will not have changed at all and without the proper seed, which you and Father gave me in the way of life, I would not be in this position today. Not just this, you led by example. Thank you!
Give my regards to Father, I look forward to seeing you both soon. "Sweet Dreams to us all."
From what you have left me, I shall buy a ring, which I will wear till the day I die - this I promise!
love, Douglas XX And within a year my sister, Florence died aged 49.
A letter I wrote to my mother the day before her funeral (13/7/1992):
Dear Mum,
This will be my last written letter to you as you can imagine you are a great loss and the postman will never deliver one of yours to me.It was hard when Father died not receiving these letters, but you took over the task and gave me an extra 17 years, which I have very much appreciated.
You had to be my Mother and Father, not just to me, but to Florence and grandmother to our children - not forgetting great-grandchild. Something you devoted yourself to.
The impression you have left with us all, is someone of great courage and devotion to family, along with a deep sense of loss and emptiness.
I hoped this day would never come and I will never be the same again. I will still smile and laugh, but I will shed a tear in my quiet moment, till the day I die.
Time takes away the surface pain, but there will always be a deep pain, which I will get from time to time.
By you dying, it will make my dying easier as I am very much hoping I will be reunited with you and Father, and if I could have one wish now or in the future, that is my wish.
When you are laid to rest tomorrow my eyes will be full of tears, but I will have one sense of warmth. I may have lost you, but Father has gained you. This does help me.
As said in a hymn - "You fought a good fight" and deserve rest. I will be looking for you in my dreams, in the fields, lanes, the sea and in my quiet moments. A sense of your presence is all I want. I know gone are the days when I can kiss you on the forehead before going to bed.
But like when you lost your parents many years ago, my time will come when I depart this world and I will spend eternity in search of you and Father. Without this to look forward to at this moment, life seems pointless.
It is not said at this moment of grief and forgot about with the passing of time. I am like you - some things do not change with time.
I feel I achieved quite a high standard in life, not in the way of my position in society or financial gain, but from a gift that you and Father gave me of life, from the qualities you both had. If you strip a man bear of everything and isolate him, so he just has himself, the majority are broken.
You can do the same to me and I will not have changed at all and without the proper seed, which you and Father gave me in the way of life, I would not be in this position today. Not just this, you led by example. Thank you!
Give my regards to Father, I look forward to seeing you both soon. "Sweet Dreams to us all."
From what you have left me, I shall buy a ring, which I will wear till the day I die - this I promise!
love, Douglas XX And within a year my sister, Florence died aged 49.
age 4 Light Skin, Blond Hair & Eye Colour Blue Green
SAHARA DESERT IN THE SUMMER
my head size 2-8-1947 MY DATE OF BIRTH 8-6-1946
my head size age 16
MY mother age 22 1935
AGE 40 1986
2003 AGE 47
My DNA from Day 1
The size of my frontal lobe (associated with reasoning, planning & problem solving) is not uncommon, but what is quite unique is the size of my occipital lobe (associated with visual processing), which gives me a unique tool and is key to my being. I believe the origin of this lies in my Neanderthal and Denisovan ancestry.My larger than normal elongated head shape could have several origins, but l believe it to be a Neanderthal and Denisovan combination (together adding to 5%). The brain is the engine to the body - the wiring circuitry is what makes us human and gives us a unique view. My brain gives me a different view - one l cannot and would not change. For this l wish to thank my ancestors whole heartedly.
PATERNAL HAPLOGROUP: I-Z138 (Branches: M42 - M168 - M89 - M170 - M253 - M258 - M307 - P19 - P30 -P38) M253 carried by 40% of the population from Norway, 35% from Finland, 18% from Germany and 10 - 22% from UK. MATERNAL HAPLOGROUP: T2f3 (Branches: L3 - N - R - T - T2)T2 carried by 21% of the population from Iraq, 16% from Croatia, 15% from Belgium and 9 - 10 from Wales. WARRIOR GENE: I carry this gene along with one-third of males in western populations.
What one achieves in life is a combination of one's DNA and parental influence. So you are like a fledgling bird in the nest. Are you an eagle or sparrow? At my birth there were two afterbirths, but no sign of my twin. I see myself as a cuckoo with an insatiable appetite. My own offspring are neither the sparrow nor cuckoo. It is for them to identify themselves. In the Spring, I listen for the cuckoo, one can go a lifetime and never see a cuckoo, but its sound is distinct. The sound can not be copied by any other bird and neither can I. One out of the Wad (my mother's description of me).
Day 1 - 8th June 1946 (Posted in 2006)
The cuckoo had fled the nest nine months earlier. There was no indication on this day that he had ever been. I lived in the middle of a long row of terrace houses built around 1900 with a toilet across the yard and only a cold water tap. The electrical devices consisted of a radio and light bulbs. The fireplace was used for cooking and heating water. This included an oven and all saucepans went directly onto the fire.
On the day of my birth, there was a party atmosphere in the communal backyard due to the World War II Victory celebrations. My mother was going through labour and the midwife was no where to be seen. A neighbour several doors away came to the rescue. She basically delivered me and the midwife turned up later. My mother had already decided to name me after my father Douglas, but she then asked the neighbour out of respect, what she thought my second name should be. She said since it was 'Victory Day,' Victor would be an appropriate name.
It was noted at my birth there were two afterbirths, but no sign of another child and nothing was read into this. Added to this, I would not even have been born if my brother, Friend had lived eighteen months earlier. He died of congenital pyloric stenosis, which became curable not long after his death.
My parents, having got married late in life, wanted two children and my mother said I was only born as my brother died. And knowing my parents, it was only through his death that I am here today.
Both my parents found themselves in a dickens type environment. As my mother would say 'fate' brought them together. She was born in Hyde (Cheshire) and moved to Sunnyside (Yorkshire) when she was two years of age. Her uncle was the manager of Silverwood colliery, so her father (brother to the manager's wife) and her brother, Fred worked there. Fred died in a mining accident aged twenty-one and her mother died around the same time. Subsequently, at the age of twenty-five, she decided to leave the area and make a new start.
My father had been involved in a private mine, but unfortunately it hit a fault. He always said that, 'if it hadn't hit a fault, I would have spent my life being driven around in a Rolls Royce.' So fate had brought them together and they got married. My mother aged twenty-eight and my father aged thirty-four. Neither had been married before. They say 'the bed you are born in', determines your position in life. If that is the case - this was a palace.
WHEN DID I FIRST SUSPECT THE INVOLVEMENT OF A CUCKOO? At junior school I would eat not one dinner, but three or four in quick succession as you had limited time between dinner and dessert. And i ate desserts in the same manner. Some would class this as gluttony it wasn't. I wasn't overweight and I ate well at home. And this was not the nature of my parents. It was just the fuel my body needed for growth. This was the first indication looking back of the 'cuckoo.' To get big and strong and fly the nest.
I was also given the nickname of 'Rugby Ball' (adult head circumference - 63 cm) at this time due to the shape of my head. As a child of this age, your head is proportional larger than your body, so is more striking. By the time I had reached secondary school my body matched my head. There is a second part, which children pick up on, and this would not show up in the fossil record.
I give an outline. Like manic depression (undiagnosed), I am not out to prove to anyone else my origin. And will not give many examples which would indicate a stronger evidence. So my quest to find the 'cuckoo' has been with me for most of my life. I have done an extensive search of my family tree, but I can't see any obvious similarities.
The closest connection seems to be my father's uncle. His name was Samson. It was said that he went to work one day in the mines to construct an archway and the rest of the team were not in. And he said pay me and I will do it alone and he did. But I think it is as much to do with one's core being as one's physical appearance. So I have narrowed the field down to my mother's ancestry, way back in time and my father's mother.
DNA ANALYSESA few years ago I entered into a new field at the time - analysis of one's Y DNA (from your father) and mitochondrial DNA (from your mother). I have had a full sequence analysis of my mitochondrial DNA. I have matches on the Y-DNA, but no matches on the mitochondrial DNA analyses. As very few people have actually had the test, this does not indicate too much at this stage. And I can see that it might never give a definitive answer. But fortunately the genome project will answer the origin of the 'cuckoo.' We have Man's genetic cocktail, but there are other branches - Neanderthal being one. You haven't got the complete genome on the Neanderthal or early Man.
Man, as you know him today, has been around for a relatively short period in time. A 'cuckoo' must have seen a large swarm of birds of different varieties and see itself as very much in the minority. If you look worldwide there are many different flocks - some more closely related than others. But I have never met one from my flock. They may exist, but the key to their success is the unique brain that they have been given. It is the opportunities and the environment they live in, which gives them the platform to develop their potential.
I have had a unique opportunity and awareness at a very early age to develop it. Without this, I would not know the existence of a 'cuckoo.' Key areas automatically switch on at predetermined times, but your input determines how much you follow this part. A key part of this is that I realised this as a child - all the last sixty years have just been conformation. Don't judge a book by its cover. You have just got the foreword of it. The book has taken a lifetime to write. I am looking now to end the final chapter. I quite often read it and correct minor pieces. If anyone reads it in the future, you can in my DNA. I might never know the real 'cuckoo,' but in time it will fly out of my DNA. I thank you for my life, although I will never be able to meet you as you are long past.
The cuckoo had fled the nest nine months earlier. There was no indication on this day that he had ever been. I lived in the middle of a long row of terrace houses built around 1900 with a toilet across the yard and only a cold water tap. The electrical devices consisted of a radio and light bulbs. The fireplace was used for cooking and heating water. This included an oven and all saucepans went directly onto the fire.
On the day of my birth, there was a party atmosphere in the communal backyard due to the World War II Victory celebrations. My mother was going through labour and the midwife was no where to be seen. A neighbour several doors away came to the rescue. She basically delivered me and the midwife turned up later. My mother had already decided to name me after my father Douglas, but she then asked the neighbour out of respect, what she thought my second name should be. She said since it was 'Victory Day,' Victor would be an appropriate name.
It was noted at my birth there were two afterbirths, but no sign of another child and nothing was read into this. Added to this, I would not even have been born if my brother, Friend had lived eighteen months earlier. He died of congenital pyloric stenosis, which became curable not long after his death.
My parents, having got married late in life, wanted two children and my mother said I was only born as my brother died. And knowing my parents, it was only through his death that I am here today.
Both my parents found themselves in a dickens type environment. As my mother would say 'fate' brought them together. She was born in Hyde (Cheshire) and moved to Sunnyside (Yorkshire) when she was two years of age. Her uncle was the manager of Silverwood colliery, so her father (brother to the manager's wife) and her brother, Fred worked there. Fred died in a mining accident aged twenty-one and her mother died around the same time. Subsequently, at the age of twenty-five, she decided to leave the area and make a new start.
My father had been involved in a private mine, but unfortunately it hit a fault. He always said that, 'if it hadn't hit a fault, I would have spent my life being driven around in a Rolls Royce.' So fate had brought them together and they got married. My mother aged twenty-eight and my father aged thirty-four. Neither had been married before. They say 'the bed you are born in', determines your position in life. If that is the case - this was a palace.
WHEN DID I FIRST SUSPECT THE INVOLVEMENT OF A CUCKOO? At junior school I would eat not one dinner, but three or four in quick succession as you had limited time between dinner and dessert. And i ate desserts in the same manner. Some would class this as gluttony it wasn't. I wasn't overweight and I ate well at home. And this was not the nature of my parents. It was just the fuel my body needed for growth. This was the first indication looking back of the 'cuckoo.' To get big and strong and fly the nest.
I was also given the nickname of 'Rugby Ball' (adult head circumference - 63 cm) at this time due to the shape of my head. As a child of this age, your head is proportional larger than your body, so is more striking. By the time I had reached secondary school my body matched my head. There is a second part, which children pick up on, and this would not show up in the fossil record.
I give an outline. Like manic depression (undiagnosed), I am not out to prove to anyone else my origin. And will not give many examples which would indicate a stronger evidence. So my quest to find the 'cuckoo' has been with me for most of my life. I have done an extensive search of my family tree, but I can't see any obvious similarities.
The closest connection seems to be my father's uncle. His name was Samson. It was said that he went to work one day in the mines to construct an archway and the rest of the team were not in. And he said pay me and I will do it alone and he did. But I think it is as much to do with one's core being as one's physical appearance. So I have narrowed the field down to my mother's ancestry, way back in time and my father's mother.
DNA ANALYSESA few years ago I entered into a new field at the time - analysis of one's Y DNA (from your father) and mitochondrial DNA (from your mother). I have had a full sequence analysis of my mitochondrial DNA. I have matches on the Y-DNA, but no matches on the mitochondrial DNA analyses. As very few people have actually had the test, this does not indicate too much at this stage. And I can see that it might never give a definitive answer. But fortunately the genome project will answer the origin of the 'cuckoo.' We have Man's genetic cocktail, but there are other branches - Neanderthal being one. You haven't got the complete genome on the Neanderthal or early Man.
Man, as you know him today, has been around for a relatively short period in time. A 'cuckoo' must have seen a large swarm of birds of different varieties and see itself as very much in the minority. If you look worldwide there are many different flocks - some more closely related than others. But I have never met one from my flock. They may exist, but the key to their success is the unique brain that they have been given. It is the opportunities and the environment they live in, which gives them the platform to develop their potential.
I have had a unique opportunity and awareness at a very early age to develop it. Without this, I would not know the existence of a 'cuckoo.' Key areas automatically switch on at predetermined times, but your input determines how much you follow this part. A key part of this is that I realised this as a child - all the last sixty years have just been conformation. Don't judge a book by its cover. You have just got the foreword of it. The book has taken a lifetime to write. I am looking now to end the final chapter. I quite often read it and correct minor pieces. If anyone reads it in the future, you can in my DNA. I might never know the real 'cuckoo,' but in time it will fly out of my DNA. I thank you for my life, although I will never be able to meet you as you are long past.
MY FATHER ON HIS WEDDING AGED 34 WITH HIS MOTHER. I think my grandmother's DNA is an important part of my Neanderthal and Denisovan ancestry. My father is more Viking/Scandinavian.
AGE 40 1986
AGE 43 1989 HAIR COLOUR LIGHT BROWN
BIPOLAR A DOUBLE EDGED SWORD - USE WITH CAUTION?"If life is an illusion, wake me up before I die, so I can prepare for life, in whatever shape or form it may take."
In 2008 I sent a letter to a society, of which I have been a member for over ten years, which deals with mental health. The entire letter is shown below. I have nothing against the organisation and am still a member, but to date I have had no response. This is their right, but I would like to make my views public. The condition is just my assumption, but the letter is about how one bases its diagnosis.
Dear Sir or Madam,Having being a member of your society for over ten years, I feel the time is right for me to write this letter. How I came to join your association was initially started by going to my doctor and asking him if there was any genetic test to verify if I was a manic depressive. He had been my doctor for many years at this point and my medical records show no history of any manic depressive episodes or treatment. This applies right up to the present day.
I have never had any prescriptions or medication to control depression or mania. I have never had the need to take any anti-depression drugs. I went back to him several days later and he had phoned around, and said that there was no genetic test for manic depression. I have never mentioned the subject to him again.
Knowing research was going on to identify it in one's genes, I happened to notice a brochure in the doctor's surgery, which must have been distributed to various surgeries. So I took the information and joined shortly thereafter. I am sure at the time, membership of the society was not determined by whether you were a manic depressive or not. I don't know if it has changed to this date. My reason was to keep up to date with the research on manic depression, with hopefully a DNA test which I have sought.
All the testing at the moment is on people who have been diagnosed with manic depression. It has been said that half of all manic depressives are undiagnosed. I think I am in this half. I watched a series recently on television, where they can determine the likelihood of you being at high risk of certain conditions such as Alzheimer's through DNA testing. I am sure that of the studies that have been done on manic depression at the moment, using DNA, they must have identified (even at this stage) some of the genes. But it is not as simple as being one gene, it is a combination of genes.
Another important factor, however, is one's environment from day one, which can be a trigger later in life. I think the criteria to determine whether you are a manic depressive is out of date. The point system, which determines the degree by which you suffer from manic depression is through examining the number of times you have been hospitalised, any criminal record (associated with the condition) and the number of times one has been sedated.
If I was to fill in a questionnaire, these are the kinds of questions I would be asked to determine if I was or was not a manic depressive Most likely if an interview took place, I would be classed as an eccentric if I tried to explain my general personality. I would have no personal gain in entering into a questionnaire, but I feel that there is a positive side to the condition and it is not all doom and gloom. So you can judge on the positive side of manic depression, which I think the origin has made Man what he is today.
I give some examples of the positive side. I left school at fifteen having gone through school in the lowest band due to the fact I am dyslexic. I believe there is a link between manic depression and dyslexia in some cases. My father was also dyslexic, but every term except one, I was top in Maths and the one I wasn’t, I was off ill. As many subjects are tied into English, this put me into bottom band. This resulted in me going down a coal mine at fifteen. My father had a similar fate in life. He could well have been a headmaster without dyslexia and because of this, I was determined not to follow the same path, but to use the talent I was born with. The dyslexia was actually a great help, something that I was aware of from the age of six. I knew I had to develop what I was good at, so I had to delve into my inner self and this helped greatly in adolescence.
When I think back to adolescence and what you go through, it was actually the onset of what I believe is manic depression. Most teenagers go through the turbulent years, changing from boyhood to manhood. You expect, in your early 20s, for this to subside as it does in most people, but for me it didn't. I thought it would give me a greater depth, which would eventually help me later and this is the way it turned out. I knew I could not get off the merry-go-round, but the important thing was not to fall off. Not just to cling on, but to use it, to give one strength and endurance for any challenge you may give yourself later in life. So you have to have an inner faith in oneself. The kind of things I was going through, was not being on a mental edge caused by drugs and drink or anything in this area.
At twenty-one, I was informed by my girlfriend at the time, that I was to become a father. Something that had been on the cards for years. The girlfriend has now been my wife for over forty-one years. I had avoided most obstacles. My biggest risk to life and limb in my teenage years was a motorbike. It was like, what a bottle of whisky, is to an alcoholic. As the saying goes I survived this period ‘by the skin of my teeth’. I knew if I didn't get rid of the motorbike when I was about nineteen, I would be dead by the age of twenty. Like an alcoholic would say, I have had my last drink, and a few hours later he would be on another bottle.
Throughout my life, alcohol is something, I have been able to control. I can understand, though, how easy it would be to be an alcoholic and one drink is never enough. I also had my last cigarette at twenty-one. This again could not stop at one cigarette. I was smoking forty-a-day. My father had the same addiction and died of lung cancer. Different to alcohol you have to draw a line. I still know to this day, I cannot smoke just one cigarette, so it has to be absolute. Being aware of the damage to one’s health, I keep alcohol under control as much as one can. Sometimes in small or large doses, it can be a stimulant to one’s creative side, but taken to excess it is a depressant and is counter productive. I found out later, my father was told in his late twenties, if he didn’t stop drinking, it would kill him. He used to drink a bottle of whisky a day.
Up to getting married at the age of thirty-four, my father had a privileged lifestyle. He was late in getting married, so when I was a teenager, my father was in his fifties. He never spoke about his own personality. I only knew his personality from what I could see. Being older, he had stability, which both my parents had from their upbringing, so this gave me a very good base. This is why I have such a good foundation to this day. As he never touched on his own life, I felt a bit like an orphan because my personality didn’t fit my parents’ personalities. If I had been born when he was twenty, I am sure I would have seen a more fiery personality, but again he had that stable family upbringing.
I always remember my father’s brother coming to his funeral (I was twenty-nine at the time) and he said that when my father was a teenager he had red hair, and his nickname (in the pubs he used to go to) was ‘Rabies’. And he would purposely be argumentative and always have the opposite opinion of anyone just to create an argument. This is different to the man I knew, who would have a white shirt and tie on most days, sometimes change a collar twice in a day and would clean his shoes every day, along with mine. So at this point you start to understand your own teenage years and, maybe, this was the point, I started the quest to know what really made me tick.
When I knew that it was not caused by any childhood events, but something I had inherited and I knew that it was an advantage if understood. There was a sting in the tail though, something that one should not forget even to this day. I knew as if by instinct, one’s mental health was greatly helped by one’s physical health and diet. Right from my school days to the present day, I have always adhered to this. You can have the odd bottle or glass of whisky, but not at the expense of either exercise or diet. This is what drives the mind and gives you the energy. So when I go up a gear, I know there is fuel in the tank. I have never been close to putting it on reserve. This is not just mental, but physical endurance. I will give you an example of this.
At the beginning of 2006, I felt like a mental break having spent many summers working on my boat. I have always tried to expand my daughters’ horizons in the past, so I thought for my eldest daughter and granddaughter, I would give them a physical and mental challenge. So I decided we would cycle across France i.e. from the English Channel to the Mediterranean (Le Havre - Montpellier). This included the Midi-Pyrénées, which is over 1,000 metres at its highest point. This was 628-mile trip, where we carried our own food, water and camping equipment.
The granddaughter was only seven at the time, so I thought it was too much to expect her to cycle at that age. So I decided I would pedal for two of us on a tandem. I put a bar on the frame, which she could put her feet on, so she had no contact at all with the pedals. The bike was only five speed. This meant that if the hills were too steep, we would walk up them. We must have walked over forty miles and we did this in June. During the second half of the trip, temperatures were hovering near 40oC. We would cycle from about 10:30am until 6:30pm on average, systemically each day. Instead of four weeks we did it in two. As we had booked our return for four weeks time, we decided to go down to Marseille and then back to Montpellier. This made a total of 1,000 miles. It was done as an exercise. Once I have set myself a task, there is no turning away from that. That is part ofmy genetic structure, whatever you want to call it.
Some time after coming back, I decided to take on a bigger challenge. The outcome was just as inevitable as the last one. This time a coast-to-coast cycle trip across America (southern trans-continental route) i.e. either from St. Augustine, Florida to San Diego, California (passing along the Gulf Coast, the deep south, the Texas Hill Country and the Southwest) or vice versa. When the idea came to me over a year ago, within five minutes of the original thought, there was no turning back with or without the daughter or granddaughter. We have planned, though, for all three of us to do it as before. The added twist is that the bike will not be conventional i.e. they will be recumbents (a bike where you lay down to pedal). The granddaughter will be on the tandem, but this time she will have to do a percentage of the pedaling. As she has been home educated from day one, this will be an environmental, cultural and character building exercise. I used to take my daughters, at a younger age than this, into the Sahara desert as I lived and worked in Algiers for five years. What I have just explained regarding the cycling, is just a taste of what I could mention.
I have lived at my present address for nearly thirty years. After only living here for two years, I decided living in a house wasn’t for me. Just after getting married, I left my roots of North Derbyshire and went to live a mile away from a little fishing village called Watchet (Somerset) in a caravan on a residential site, quite close to the beach. I worked in the local paper mill in Watchet. The wage was very poor compared to what I was earning in the coal mines in Derbyshire, but the concept was right. At times I would catch dogfish and live on them as the wages were that low. I lived this life for six years.
One day I had a chance to work in the city of Algiers commissioning a new paper mill. At the last minute, the man who was going pulled out, and within ten days I was out there. No interview and I signed the contract at Heathrow airport. It was a five month contract on bachelor status. I said to the wife, I would have her out in a few weeks, but the contract stated that they were not allowed out there. Within a few weeks I did get them out there, but we had to find our own accommodation - fifteen miles from where I worked. I got a bike and cycled there - fifteen miles each way, every day. Not the safest of places to ride a bike. One day I was hit by a car from behind. He must have been doing 60 mph. I went through his windscreen, he braked, I went back onto his bonnet, fell in front of the car and he braked just in time before running over me. After that, I was down to using the bus, which was crowded to say the least. This was just one incident that I had to deal with in the early months.
Eventually I got onto the technical assistance team, where I was entitled to a company car and villa as by this time I had proven my worth. When I took on the job in the beginning, I only had £37 in the bank. When I left there five years later, I was in a position to buy a house. The house was more for the wife, not me. Having spent two years in the house, I knew I couldn’t spend the rest of my life vegetating in this way, so I decided to build a boat to live on. Again the dye was cast. This has been the longest event I have ever been involved in.
The boat was built in the garden which took over ten years and, from then until now, it has sat on a pontoon in a marina, where it is being fitted out. The vision was always to make it self sufficient using solar, wind and water power. My condition, what ever it is, always has to go one step further and this applies to the boat. I have removed the windows that were originally put in the boat. There is no natural light in the boat at all. The aim is to create a virtual world, in which you live, and where the windows used to be on the inside, there will be computer flatscreens, so you look out on, on what you choose to look out on and your day can be as long or as short as you want it. You can look out to a tropical sunset or choose to visit Mars. The concept goes far deeper than this, but this is the basic concept. I know I am going far beyond anyone else. Some of the ideas are unique to a boat or even a house.
This is how I would like to be judged, not on how many times I have been hospitalised. My saving grace is that I inherited my mother’s stability. I basically worked out what I inherited from my father, but my mother’s genetic mix is just as interesting to me as my father’s. I have done the family tree on both sides of my family, but there is no obvious link to myself in there, so I have gone back into my DNA stretching back thousands of years. I have a theory which I believe is in my mother’s DNA. I have found in my life, I have had many such theories and usually I am right, when science has caught up.
If the evidence that I have given was accepted, that I had several criteria of manic depression, I could not accept it as absolute proof. As Shakespeare said ‘we are all actors on the stage’ and we can convince the audience or ourselves, of what we are or are not. I believe the casting vote must be in one’s DNA. I rest my case. If you want further verification of what I have written, please go to my daughter’s website (www.drjuliesmith.co.uk). It will reveal both daughters are Doctors of Science. They owe this to the undiagnosed condition.
Dear Sir or Madam,Having being a member of your society for over ten years, I feel the time is right for me to write this letter. How I came to join your association was initially started by going to my doctor and asking him if there was any genetic test to verify if I was a manic depressive. He had been my doctor for many years at this point and my medical records show no history of any manic depressive episodes or treatment. This applies right up to the present day.
I have never had any prescriptions or medication to control depression or mania. I have never had the need to take any anti-depression drugs. I went back to him several days later and he had phoned around, and said that there was no genetic test for manic depression. I have never mentioned the subject to him again.
Knowing research was going on to identify it in one's genes, I happened to notice a brochure in the doctor's surgery, which must have been distributed to various surgeries. So I took the information and joined shortly thereafter. I am sure at the time, membership of the society was not determined by whether you were a manic depressive or not. I don't know if it has changed to this date. My reason was to keep up to date with the research on manic depression, with hopefully a DNA test which I have sought.
All the testing at the moment is on people who have been diagnosed with manic depression. It has been said that half of all manic depressives are undiagnosed. I think I am in this half. I watched a series recently on television, where they can determine the likelihood of you being at high risk of certain conditions such as Alzheimer's through DNA testing. I am sure that of the studies that have been done on manic depression at the moment, using DNA, they must have identified (even at this stage) some of the genes. But it is not as simple as being one gene, it is a combination of genes.
Another important factor, however, is one's environment from day one, which can be a trigger later in life. I think the criteria to determine whether you are a manic depressive is out of date. The point system, which determines the degree by which you suffer from manic depression is through examining the number of times you have been hospitalised, any criminal record (associated with the condition) and the number of times one has been sedated.
If I was to fill in a questionnaire, these are the kinds of questions I would be asked to determine if I was or was not a manic depressive Most likely if an interview took place, I would be classed as an eccentric if I tried to explain my general personality. I would have no personal gain in entering into a questionnaire, but I feel that there is a positive side to the condition and it is not all doom and gloom. So you can judge on the positive side of manic depression, which I think the origin has made Man what he is today.
I give some examples of the positive side. I left school at fifteen having gone through school in the lowest band due to the fact I am dyslexic. I believe there is a link between manic depression and dyslexia in some cases. My father was also dyslexic, but every term except one, I was top in Maths and the one I wasn’t, I was off ill. As many subjects are tied into English, this put me into bottom band. This resulted in me going down a coal mine at fifteen. My father had a similar fate in life. He could well have been a headmaster without dyslexia and because of this, I was determined not to follow the same path, but to use the talent I was born with. The dyslexia was actually a great help, something that I was aware of from the age of six. I knew I had to develop what I was good at, so I had to delve into my inner self and this helped greatly in adolescence.
When I think back to adolescence and what you go through, it was actually the onset of what I believe is manic depression. Most teenagers go through the turbulent years, changing from boyhood to manhood. You expect, in your early 20s, for this to subside as it does in most people, but for me it didn't. I thought it would give me a greater depth, which would eventually help me later and this is the way it turned out. I knew I could not get off the merry-go-round, but the important thing was not to fall off. Not just to cling on, but to use it, to give one strength and endurance for any challenge you may give yourself later in life. So you have to have an inner faith in oneself. The kind of things I was going through, was not being on a mental edge caused by drugs and drink or anything in this area.
At twenty-one, I was informed by my girlfriend at the time, that I was to become a father. Something that had been on the cards for years. The girlfriend has now been my wife for over forty-one years. I had avoided most obstacles. My biggest risk to life and limb in my teenage years was a motorbike. It was like, what a bottle of whisky, is to an alcoholic. As the saying goes I survived this period ‘by the skin of my teeth’. I knew if I didn't get rid of the motorbike when I was about nineteen, I would be dead by the age of twenty. Like an alcoholic would say, I have had my last drink, and a few hours later he would be on another bottle.
Throughout my life, alcohol is something, I have been able to control. I can understand, though, how easy it would be to be an alcoholic and one drink is never enough. I also had my last cigarette at twenty-one. This again could not stop at one cigarette. I was smoking forty-a-day. My father had the same addiction and died of lung cancer. Different to alcohol you have to draw a line. I still know to this day, I cannot smoke just one cigarette, so it has to be absolute. Being aware of the damage to one’s health, I keep alcohol under control as much as one can. Sometimes in small or large doses, it can be a stimulant to one’s creative side, but taken to excess it is a depressant and is counter productive. I found out later, my father was told in his late twenties, if he didn’t stop drinking, it would kill him. He used to drink a bottle of whisky a day.
Up to getting married at the age of thirty-four, my father had a privileged lifestyle. He was late in getting married, so when I was a teenager, my father was in his fifties. He never spoke about his own personality. I only knew his personality from what I could see. Being older, he had stability, which both my parents had from their upbringing, so this gave me a very good base. This is why I have such a good foundation to this day. As he never touched on his own life, I felt a bit like an orphan because my personality didn’t fit my parents’ personalities. If I had been born when he was twenty, I am sure I would have seen a more fiery personality, but again he had that stable family upbringing.
I always remember my father’s brother coming to his funeral (I was twenty-nine at the time) and he said that when my father was a teenager he had red hair, and his nickname (in the pubs he used to go to) was ‘Rabies’. And he would purposely be argumentative and always have the opposite opinion of anyone just to create an argument. This is different to the man I knew, who would have a white shirt and tie on most days, sometimes change a collar twice in a day and would clean his shoes every day, along with mine. So at this point you start to understand your own teenage years and, maybe, this was the point, I started the quest to know what really made me tick.
When I knew that it was not caused by any childhood events, but something I had inherited and I knew that it was an advantage if understood. There was a sting in the tail though, something that one should not forget even to this day. I knew as if by instinct, one’s mental health was greatly helped by one’s physical health and diet. Right from my school days to the present day, I have always adhered to this. You can have the odd bottle or glass of whisky, but not at the expense of either exercise or diet. This is what drives the mind and gives you the energy. So when I go up a gear, I know there is fuel in the tank. I have never been close to putting it on reserve. This is not just mental, but physical endurance. I will give you an example of this.
At the beginning of 2006, I felt like a mental break having spent many summers working on my boat. I have always tried to expand my daughters’ horizons in the past, so I thought for my eldest daughter and granddaughter, I would give them a physical and mental challenge. So I decided we would cycle across France i.e. from the English Channel to the Mediterranean (Le Havre - Montpellier). This included the Midi-Pyrénées, which is over 1,000 metres at its highest point. This was 628-mile trip, where we carried our own food, water and camping equipment.
The granddaughter was only seven at the time, so I thought it was too much to expect her to cycle at that age. So I decided I would pedal for two of us on a tandem. I put a bar on the frame, which she could put her feet on, so she had no contact at all with the pedals. The bike was only five speed. This meant that if the hills were too steep, we would walk up them. We must have walked over forty miles and we did this in June. During the second half of the trip, temperatures were hovering near 40oC. We would cycle from about 10:30am until 6:30pm on average, systemically each day. Instead of four weeks we did it in two. As we had booked our return for four weeks time, we decided to go down to Marseille and then back to Montpellier. This made a total of 1,000 miles. It was done as an exercise. Once I have set myself a task, there is no turning away from that. That is part ofmy genetic structure, whatever you want to call it.
Some time after coming back, I decided to take on a bigger challenge. The outcome was just as inevitable as the last one. This time a coast-to-coast cycle trip across America (southern trans-continental route) i.e. either from St. Augustine, Florida to San Diego, California (passing along the Gulf Coast, the deep south, the Texas Hill Country and the Southwest) or vice versa. When the idea came to me over a year ago, within five minutes of the original thought, there was no turning back with or without the daughter or granddaughter. We have planned, though, for all three of us to do it as before. The added twist is that the bike will not be conventional i.e. they will be recumbents (a bike where you lay down to pedal). The granddaughter will be on the tandem, but this time she will have to do a percentage of the pedaling. As she has been home educated from day one, this will be an environmental, cultural and character building exercise. I used to take my daughters, at a younger age than this, into the Sahara desert as I lived and worked in Algiers for five years. What I have just explained regarding the cycling, is just a taste of what I could mention.
I have lived at my present address for nearly thirty years. After only living here for two years, I decided living in a house wasn’t for me. Just after getting married, I left my roots of North Derbyshire and went to live a mile away from a little fishing village called Watchet (Somerset) in a caravan on a residential site, quite close to the beach. I worked in the local paper mill in Watchet. The wage was very poor compared to what I was earning in the coal mines in Derbyshire, but the concept was right. At times I would catch dogfish and live on them as the wages were that low. I lived this life for six years.
One day I had a chance to work in the city of Algiers commissioning a new paper mill. At the last minute, the man who was going pulled out, and within ten days I was out there. No interview and I signed the contract at Heathrow airport. It was a five month contract on bachelor status. I said to the wife, I would have her out in a few weeks, but the contract stated that they were not allowed out there. Within a few weeks I did get them out there, but we had to find our own accommodation - fifteen miles from where I worked. I got a bike and cycled there - fifteen miles each way, every day. Not the safest of places to ride a bike. One day I was hit by a car from behind. He must have been doing 60 mph. I went through his windscreen, he braked, I went back onto his bonnet, fell in front of the car and he braked just in time before running over me. After that, I was down to using the bus, which was crowded to say the least. This was just one incident that I had to deal with in the early months.
Eventually I got onto the technical assistance team, where I was entitled to a company car and villa as by this time I had proven my worth. When I took on the job in the beginning, I only had £37 in the bank. When I left there five years later, I was in a position to buy a house. The house was more for the wife, not me. Having spent two years in the house, I knew I couldn’t spend the rest of my life vegetating in this way, so I decided to build a boat to live on. Again the dye was cast. This has been the longest event I have ever been involved in.
The boat was built in the garden which took over ten years and, from then until now, it has sat on a pontoon in a marina, where it is being fitted out. The vision was always to make it self sufficient using solar, wind and water power. My condition, what ever it is, always has to go one step further and this applies to the boat. I have removed the windows that were originally put in the boat. There is no natural light in the boat at all. The aim is to create a virtual world, in which you live, and where the windows used to be on the inside, there will be computer flatscreens, so you look out on, on what you choose to look out on and your day can be as long or as short as you want it. You can look out to a tropical sunset or choose to visit Mars. The concept goes far deeper than this, but this is the basic concept. I know I am going far beyond anyone else. Some of the ideas are unique to a boat or even a house.
This is how I would like to be judged, not on how many times I have been hospitalised. My saving grace is that I inherited my mother’s stability. I basically worked out what I inherited from my father, but my mother’s genetic mix is just as interesting to me as my father’s. I have done the family tree on both sides of my family, but there is no obvious link to myself in there, so I have gone back into my DNA stretching back thousands of years. I have a theory which I believe is in my mother’s DNA. I have found in my life, I have had many such theories and usually I am right, when science has caught up.
If the evidence that I have given was accepted, that I had several criteria of manic depression, I could not accept it as absolute proof. As Shakespeare said ‘we are all actors on the stage’ and we can convince the audience or ourselves, of what we are or are not. I believe the casting vote must be in one’s DNA. I rest my case. If you want further verification of what I have written, please go to my daughter’s website (www.drjuliesmith.co.uk). It will reveal both daughters are Doctors of Science. They owe this to the undiagnosed condition.
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